I ate Minnie Driver’s yogurt

March 17, 2013

Well, not me exactly. I’ve never met Minnie Driver, but Bob, the IT manager at work has. Not only that, but he shared a pot of Ski strawberry yogurt with her. Women wanting to share  yogurt with him is the sort of thing that happens to Bob, even though he is a bit of a boffin and has a beard.

When he told me about the yogurt sharing, I must admit I wasn’t sure who he was talking about. “Minnie who?” I wanted to ask, but it was obvious from the excitement bubbling in the rest of the office that I should know who she was, so I did a discrete google search. Mind you, I still didn’t recognise her.

Apparently Minnie went to school with Bob – or so he says. One day, Bob’s mum (a woman with five husbands, albeit not at the same time), sent the 10 year old Bob to school with no money for the 1960s school delicacy of fried spam and freeze dried mash. Minnie, apparently, took pity on Bob and gave him her pot of warm strawberry ski in return for a rubber Tigger pencil top (remember those?).

“Of course,” said Bob, “had I been able to see into the future, I’d have kept the empty yogurt pot and sold it for thousands of pounds on ebay. And married Minnie.”

He’d have to get rid of the beard first. Full on beards and famous Hollywood actresses don’t really go, unless the beard belongs to George Clooney.

I said as much, wondering what all the fuss was about anyway. It wasn’t as if the yogurt sharing incident happened yesterday, after all.

Bob’s lips puckered under his tangled bush. “Not a Minnie fan, then, Alan?”

“No, not really.”

“Well, you won’t want to meet her later today, then will you. She remembered me from school, looked me up, and hey, I am going to star with her in some television show where she goes back to her pre-Hollywood roots.”

She’ll probably end up at some primary school eating spam and mash. And Bob will end up marrying her.

Wonder whether he’ll let me tag along.

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