Hanging on

September 4, 2010

Tony Blair’s back in the news again, and all that New Labour stuff. Dull. There’s a tube strike on Tuesday so everyone’s trying to bag a work at home day  (not really an issue for me, Tuesday being a work at home day anyway) and I am, well, a little bit bored.

It’s that September back to school feeling. Car windscreens are frosted over in the morning, the days are getting shorter, Christmas ads are on the telly.  Not my favourite time of the year.  Back home they would tell me to stop my mithering and get on with it. Get on with what, though? Suzie (the one with the wriggle) is stuck in Florida (something to do with her boyfriend being attacked by an alligator) which means I have more work to do. More work equals boredom. If I can’t check my personal emails for at least the first hour of the day, then there is something wrong.

I can do without Suzie most days. She has a nice wriggle but that’s about it. She’s half my age and earns almost twice as much.  I tried taking Emma’s advice (you remember, the squiffy girl from HR at the summer party) and tried the age discrimination card with the boss, but it didn’t really work.

It went a bit like this.

Me: “So I think it is about time I got a pay rise.”

Boss (female, by the way, the very tall blond one): “Any particular reason?”

Me:      “Susie earns more than me and she’s well, younger than me.”

Boss:    “Is that so?”

Me:      “Yes. It’s ageist. You are paying her more because she is young.”

Boss:    “She’s bright.”

Me:      “Meaning?”

Boss:    “And has a Masters of Business Administration. MBA to you. You know the qualification that helps people get on in life.”

Me:      “In marketing? What does she need an MBA for?”

Boss:    “Alan, the problem with you is that you are behind the times. In your days a lower second class degree from a second class university – didn’t you go to one of those polytechnics? – was enough. Now, to get on, you need ambition, drive, and yes, qualifications.”

Me: “Oh.”

Boss: “And you, Alan, don’t really have ambition or drive. To be expected, I suppose, at your time in life. You’re a bit – I hope you don’t mind me saying so – of a plodder.”

And our discussion ended there. I didn’t get the pay rise.

I played the age card, though. Emma was spot on. The boss did seem to twitch in her seat when I used the age word, and if I play my cards right, I might hold on to the job that little bit longer.